Throughout my life, the best motivations have always been seemingly unattainable goals. At the beginning of the summer, I was barely able to swim one crosswise lap without stopping. I decided early on that by the end of the summer, I would swim my old regular “easy” program: 4×100; 2×200; 1×400; 2×200; 4×100. …and this morning, ladies and gentlemen, it actually happened.
Did my leg hurt any less? No.
Did my leg shake any less? No.
Were the muscles in my lower leg working again? No.
Was I able to push off the wall? No.
Did I still scream and curse underwater? Yes.
…but the rest of my body is stronger. And my mind is stronger. And my will is stronger.
I didn’t sleep much last night because my stupid leg was playing painful tricks on me, and this morning I was incredibly dizzy from the meds, and the very last thing I wanted to do was to go to the pool.
However, I have to thank my former dance instructors for always being in my head, and continuing to coach me. I heard them all loud and clear today: “This is the work.” “This is the dedication.” “Fight for it, it’s yours.” “Be confident.” “Show up and do the work.” “Feel the movement.” “Keep the rhythm steady.” “Be like a dolphin.” “Lift your elbows” “Don’t rush.” “Don’t stop.” “Extend your movements.” “Do it.” “Break’s over.” “One more time.” “Believe in yourself.” “Don’t forget to breathe.” “Pretend like you like this.” “c’mon, JenniFERRR!”
It would be so easy to give in and quit this fight, but I guess that just isn’t my personality.
I am so incredibly grateful to have been well-trained in the art of dedicated perseverance, one of the most valuable lessons I learned from a lifetime of dancing.
(And dancing again is the ultimate seemingly unattainable goal.)