To the dudes who swim at the YMCA:
There are a couple of things you should know about me.
First, I am highly competitive in non-competitive environments.
Second, for almost a decade, my brother’s swim coach tried to recruit me for his team because I am strong, relaxed, efficient and fast in the water. My answer was always “I’m a dancer,” but he made me an honorary member of the team anyway.
The name of the team was The Barracudas, and the thing about barracudas is that they aren’t very nice.
So guys, if you wait for me at the end of your lane and push off at the same time as me, I will race you. I will race you and I will race to win. But keep trying, sweet dudes, maybe next time you wont be beaten by a girl with only one functioning leg.