Uh Oh…

So there I was again. At the goddamned YMCA for my daily swim.

Some Jesus freak, who first Jesus’d me back in December, stopped me in the hallway this morning (by physically blocking my path to the pool), in order to tell me how much “better” I look. And then, she proceeded to have a great idea: “You should open your own ballet studio!”

Go ahead and twist that knife the Universe shoved into my back, why doncha?

Obviously, she has never been a business owner, or worked tirelessly, trying to keep a business afloat.  Let alone tried to do it while crippled, in unyielding pain, and on drugs. “Whatever.” I grumbled at her, “You can see that my leg is shaking. I have to get in the water.”

I walked away.

I limped out to the pool deck.

Some overly cheerful aquaciser, full of saccharine and straddling a noodle, yelled out to me “I like your shirt!” 

I was wearing whatever shirt I slept in. I looked down: a wrinkled  green tee that says “ACHIEVER” on it.

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It’s a reference to The Big Lebowski. It’s a reference I knew this lady didn’t get. I scoffed. “Yeah, thanks.”

She then chimed (in a sing-song sounds-like-someone’s-got-a-case-of-the-Mondays tone of voice),”Uh oh, looks like you’re in a bad mood today.”

Oh no, she di’nt… “I’m in a bad mood every day,” I snapped back.

She then tried to argue that I am not actually in a bad mood every day because I don’t look like I’m always in a bad mood…

I kept walking, but started uncontrollably muttering a bunch of stuff under my breath walking to my deck chair. I probably bore an embarrassing resemblance to  Yosemite Sam. “As if I’m supposed to be in a good mood for you” … “Who are you to argue with me about how I feel!?”… “You think I want to come here? That this is fun for me?” … “How dare you judge me based on how you think I look!”

And punctuating the half out loud rant: a hearty “fuck you, lady.”

She may or may not have heard me.  I don’t think I care.

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5 thoughts on “Uh Oh…

  1. What the shit? You’re not on a cruise ship doing laps by the pool bar. It’s not a get-to-know-your-neighbor Ice Cream Social at the pool. I can’t get over the social assault you experience at a PUBLIC pool!
    I’m an extraordinary introvert. I HATE being forced to socialize. Like when I get my haircut. Let’s just be silent for 25 minutes, ok? You don’t care where I work, live, what I just ate, etc. I have a small group of friends that I like being with and talking to. That’s plenty for me. I’d rather have 5 best friends than 50 ‘friends’.
    I would love to meet this person at the pool. I am an honest person but also a sophisticated liar. I can make up a very believable, made-up life for myself on the spot. I would love to spin a tale for her one day. One that might make her avoid the next conversation with a stranger. 😊

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  2. I mean… Yeah… To a point… Without the drugs I would have had the capacity to contain myself a little (a lot) better, and certainly would have been more creative in my reactions. I have a “history” with this noodle lady as well… She is a busy body and very nosy. She listens to conversations I have with other people (who themselves may or may not be my “friends”) and then tries to start conversations with me by asking questions about whatever I was talking about with the other person. It really irritates me when people assume that I’m some kind of nice girl just because I’m pretty(ish) with a nice (enough) smile. I’m not actually obligated to be nice to anyone. I am not a mean or cruel person by nature, but where is it written that I have to be Little Jenny Sunshine to every stranger I meet? Just as she is allowed to bellow across the pool about my tee shirt, I am allowed to respond badly. I am allowed to be in a bad mood. I’m allowed to be pissed off when CRPS gets me down… However, the part about all of this that really bums me out and makes me sad is that these encounters will be the sum total of my social encounters for today. :-/ Anyway, that’s all the gossip for today. Thanks for reading and responding. 🙂

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  3. I’m sorry, but I did have to laugh a little at this post. Not at you, just with you because I know that feeling and that anger rears its ugly head a lot. I’m glad you have this forum to vent about it. And you know I love the naughty language!!

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  4. Oh, by all means, feel free to laugh. I usually laugh at myself in hindsight… The really funny thing about it is that I thumbed most of this out on my phone just after the incident, before getting in the pool! I needed to rant that badly! Hahaha. …And yes, anger. Every single thing about my situation makes me very, very angry. I am surprised at how angry I get sometimes… This noodle lady just tipped it for me today, I guess.

    I wish I could say that I’m glad you can understand. I know you do, but I honestly wish that nobody was able to empathize with what I am go through… Meanwhile, I am currently wearing a shirt that says “I AM DRUGS”. Maybe I’ll wear it to the pool tomorrow to see what kind of reactions it draws.

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